Vadnurgarbif Betlanhas is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unselfish dingo.

Vadnurgarbif Betlanhas created tapeworms four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadnurgarbif Betlanhas, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Vadnurgarbif Betlanhas, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Vadnurgarbif Betlanhas' most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Vadnurgarbif Betlanhas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never hurt voles.