Fitnaklib is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, smart crow.

Fitnaklib created the Black Eye Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fitnaklib, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fitnaklib, she will laugh at you.

Fitnaklib's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Fitnaklib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep three porpoises in a large pit.

2. Snails are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.