Quafvilciss is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, impressive raven.

Quafvilciss created viruses four billion years ago.

If you believe in Quafvilciss, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Quafvilciss, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Quafvilciss' most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Quafvilciss' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Do not eat oranges.

3. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

4. You must love Quafvilciss.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.