Sismumtan is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, humorless wasp.

Sismumtan created the Andromeda Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Sismumtan, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sismumtan, it will boil you in a big pot.

Sismumtan's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Sismumtan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Always obey Sismumtan's priests.

3. Always treat sheep with great respect.

4. Never hurt pigs.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.