Vonkbadbum is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, deceitful squid.

Vonkbadbum created the planet Earth nine million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkbadbum, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Vonkbadbum, it will throw large rocks at you.

Vonkbadbum's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Vonkbadbum's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate foxes.

2. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never wear turquoise shoes.