Yamfadzim is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, unsympathetic parrot.

Yamfadzim created the Milkyway six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yamfadzim, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yamfadzim, she will torture you forever.

Yamfadzim's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Yamfadzim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Erect a large copper sculpture of Yamfadzim on top of all buildings.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never sprint in the presence of ants.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Yamfadzim.