Giddadtom Timyimjip is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, self-assured duck.

Giddadtom Timyimjip created an electron five million years ago.

If you believe in Giddadtom Timyimjip, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Giddadtom Timyimjip, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Giddadtom Timyimjip's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Giddadtom Timyimjip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Never go into yellow rooms.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

5. Hide from indigo birds for they are unholy.