Xemgatontbin is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, dishonest cat.

Xemgatontbin created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Xemgatontbin, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Xemgatontbin, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Xemgatontbin's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Xemgatontbin's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never go into indigo rooms.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. You must never eat turnips.