Vog is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, humorless tapir.

Vog created everything that exists seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vog, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Vog, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Vog's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Vog's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine manatees approach from the west.

2. Always help snails in need.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

5. Erect five silicon sculptures of Vog on top of important buildings.