Gilstipbudcabvadcedtimsom is a god.

She takes the form of a large, prudent monkey.

Gilstipbudcabvadcedtimsom created gold four million years ago.

If you believe in Gilstipbudcabvadcedtimsom, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gilstipbudcabvadcedtimsom, she will send minions to preach to you.

Gilstipbudcabvadcedtimsom's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Gilstipbudcabvadcedtimsom's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Gilstipbudcabvadcedtimsom on top of all buildings.

2. Hide if nine dogs approach from the east.

3. Run away from yellow grasshopers, for they are unholy.

4. Ducks are not to be trusted.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.