Xembogved is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, smart dove.

Xembogved created the planet Jupiter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Xembogved, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Xembogved, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Xembogved's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Xembogved's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Xembogved's name in vain.

2. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

3. Never talk about mites.

4. Always help sick nematodes.

5. Never mention geese.