Bamyakwadnart is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, all-knowing faun.

Bamyakwadnart created a quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bamyakwadnart, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bamyakwadnart, she will turn you into a plant.

Bamyakwadnart's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Bamyakwadnart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat onions.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Bamyakwadnart must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Bamyakwadnart on top of all buildings.