Rowsawfotlit Jipyattfas is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, blissful goose.

Rowsawfotlit Jipyattfas created an electron six million years ago.

If you believe in Rowsawfotlit Jipyattfas, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Rowsawfotlit Jipyattfas, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Rowsawfotlit Jipyattfas' most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Rowsawfotlit Jipyattfas' Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Rowsawfotlit Jipyattfas.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.