Rutstafcad is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, all-knowing cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Rutstafcad created the planet Venus three billion years ago.

If you believe in Rutstafcad, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Rutstafcad, he will laugh at you.

Rutstafcad's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Rutstafcad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat pineapples.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never sprint in the presence of dogs.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics near sheep while wearing violet rings and balancing seven platinum spheres on your neck.