Quimzogkombudleggem is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, annoying narwhal.

Quimzogkombudleggem created energy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quimzogkombudleggem, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Quimzogkombudleggem, he will not invite you to parties.

Quimzogkombudleggem's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Quimzogkombudleggem's Holy Commandments

1. Quimzogkombudleggem must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never think about solid mechanics.