Ontlatdit is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, fast cat.

Ontlatdit created an electron four years ago.

If you believe in Ontlatdit, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ontlatdit, it will throw large rocks at you.

Ontlatdit's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Ontlatdit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick ants.

2. Never feed onions to snakes while wearing coats.

3. Hide if six tapirs approach from the south.

4. Never go into violet rooms.

5. Never look at dwarf planets.