Fenkintif is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, stupid human.

Fenkintif created parasitic wasps seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fenkintif, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fenkintif, she will jump up and down on your head.

Fenkintif's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Fenkintif's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never talk about asteroids.

3. Always make sure there are no frogs in a building before entering it.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never think ill of sick mice.