Tofstiklist Kenbetgampig is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, all-powerful wren.

Tofstiklist Kenbetgampig created the Tadpole Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofstiklist Kenbetgampig, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tofstiklist Kenbetgampig, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Tofstiklist Kenbetgampig's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Tofstiklist Kenbetgampig's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Tofstiklist Kenbetgampig.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never feed coconuts to nematodes while wearing pink shirts.

4. Do not keep five whales in a large pit.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.