Cimfosstik is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, merciless crab.

Cimfosstik created Mount Everest four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cimfosstik, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Cimfosstik, he will strike you with lightening.

Cimfosstik's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Cimfosstik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Hide from orange goats for they are unholy.

3. Erect a giant gray sculpture of Cimfosstik in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Learn four new languages a year.