Kamyartbab is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unsympathetic rhinoceros.

Kamyartbab created humanity six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kamyartbab, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kamyartbab, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Kamyartbab's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Kamyartbab's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear yellow ear rings.

2. Always help mice.

3. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never sit in holy places.