Yattcepzen is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, idiotic rhinoceros.

Yattcepzen created parasitic wasps five billion years ago.

If you believe in Yattcepzen, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yattcepzen, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Yattcepzen's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Yattcepzen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick pigs.

2. Never jump near grasshopers.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never feed oranges to ducks while wearing cyan jumpers.

5. Never paint your neck pink.