Hitgofsas is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unthoughtful crow.

Hitgofsas created Mount Everest four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hitgofsas, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hitgofsas, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Hitgofsas' most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Hitgofsas' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about eagles.

2. Always treat voles with great respect.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Hide from pink mice for they are unholy.