Listyogfed is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, deceitful snake.

Listyogfed created the Sol system five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Listyogfed, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Listyogfed, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Listyogfed's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Listyogfed's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about otters.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never write about bacteria.

4. Learn eight new languages a year.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.