Aftanceb is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, annoying tortoise.

Aftanceb created Asia three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Aftanceb, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Aftanceb, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Aftanceb's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Aftanceb's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Aftanceb.

2. Never jump in the presence of badgers.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Always take life seriously.