Rownellcet is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, unfair newt.

Rownellcet created parasitic wasps four million years ago.

If you believe in Rownellcet, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Rownellcet, it will turn you into a puffin.

Rownellcet's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Rownellcet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Rownellcet's name in vain.

2. You must never eat strawberries.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Rownellcet loves tapirs, so they must be honoured.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Rownellcet.