Ranlanwik is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, capable goblin.

Ranlanwik created an electron six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ranlanwik, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ranlanwik, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Ranlanwik's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Ranlanwik's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never write about solid mechanics.

3. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Fast once a month.