Cutmitmad is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, humane spider.

Cutmitmad created water five million years ago.

If you believe in Cutmitmad, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cutmitmad, she will turn you into a mouse.

Cutmitmad's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Cutmitmad's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat limes.

2. Do not kill aardvarks.

3. Run away from brown turtles, for they are unholy.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Do not covet oxen.