Kapfagtarg is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, all-powerful chinchilla.

Kapfagtarg created the Virgo Supercluster eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kapfagtarg, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kapfagtarg, he will refuse to believe in you.

Kapfagtarg's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Kapfagtarg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.

2. Never feed cucumbers to porpoises while wearing rings.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate horses.

4. Never feed apples to tapirs while wearing turquoise skirts.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.