Kempomnat Vadbegfuttapfun Gannurt is a god.

It takes the form of a large, humane troll.

Kempomnat Vadbegfuttapfun Gannurt created dark matter four years ago.

If you believe in Kempomnat Vadbegfuttapfun Gannurt, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kempomnat Vadbegfuttapfun Gannurt, it will turn you into a dog.

Kempomnat Vadbegfuttapfun Gannurt's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Kempomnat Vadbegfuttapfun Gannurt's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Worship no other gods but Kempomnat Vadbegfuttapfun Gannurt.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism.

4. Never think about solid mechanics near great tits while wearing white stockings and balancing five aluminium spheres on your feet.

5. Do not drink alcohol.