Wadpomtonk is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, able gerbil.

Wadpomtonk created the Cigar Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wadpomtonk, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Wadpomtonk, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Wadpomtonk's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Wadpomtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Never wear purple jumpers.

5. You must love Wadpomtonk.