Bapzudlinpig is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, humorless chinchilla.

Bapzudlinpig created a down quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Bapzudlinpig, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bapzudlinpig, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Bapzudlinpig's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Bapzudlinpig's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Run away if four grasshopers approach from the north.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Hide if seven foxes approach from the east.