Gesshotzib is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, almighty fly.

Gesshotzib created snails five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gesshotzib, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gesshotzib, it will turn you into a snail.

Gesshotzib's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Gesshotzib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Gesshotzib's name in vain.

2. Never wear black trousers.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Always help sick cats.