Man is a god.

He takes the form of a large, tranquil fly.

Man created an atom eight million years ago.

If you believe in Man, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Man, he will destroy your home planet.

Man's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Man's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lemons to snails while wearing red kilts.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate nematodes.

3. Never paint your chest blue.

4. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.