Ortfag is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, fussy clam.

Ortfag created the cosmos nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ortfag, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Ortfag, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Ortfag's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Ortfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Retreat if five aardvarks approach from the west.

3. Never mention voles.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a room before entering it.