Febtinkimbotmadgeplakwig is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, deceitful cow.

Febtinkimbotmadgeplakwig created light three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Febtinkimbotmadgeplakwig, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Febtinkimbotmadgeplakwig, he will not care.

Febtinkimbotmadgeplakwig's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Febtinkimbotmadgeplakwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dwarf planets.

2. Never feed lots of limes to porpoises while wearing indigo shoes.

3. Retreat if three whales approach from the north.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

5. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Febtinkimbotmadgeplakwig in the centre of the settlement.