Matlarnsom is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, blissful cat.

Matlarnsom created oxygen seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matlarnsom, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Matlarnsom, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Matlarnsom's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Matlarnsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Never bounce in holy places.

3. Do not speak about pineapples.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.