Rutvighom is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, capable cow.

Rutvighom created dark matter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rutvighom, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rutvighom, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Rutvighom's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Rutvighom's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never talk about spacetime.

3. Always help manatees.

4. Never feed grapes to seals while wearing pink kilts.

5. Worship no other gods but Rutvighom.