Ruttjenget is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, witty jaguar.

Ruttjenget created gold six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ruttjenget, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Ruttjenget, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Ruttjenget's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Ruttjenget's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Worship no other gods but Ruttjenget.

3. Hide if eight grasshopers approach from the north.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Never think about spacetime near pigs while wearing turquoise hats and balancing five tin spheres on your head.