Jamsomnel Sabjenzig is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, caring zebra.

Jamsomnel Sabjenzig created energy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamsomnel Sabjenzig, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jamsomnel Sabjenzig, it will cry a lot.

Jamsomnel Sabjenzig's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Jamsomnel Sabjenzig's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine foxes approach from the north.

2. Hide from brown sharks for they are unholy.

3. Erect three copper sculptures of Jamsomnel Sabjenzig on top of important buildings.

4. You must never eat lentils.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.