Gompodquim is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, awesome spider.

Gompodquim created everything that exists eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gompodquim, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gompodquim, she will throw large rocks at you.

Gompodquim's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Gompodquim's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Always help voles.

5. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.