Armvankin is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, benevolent hedgehog.

Armvankin created a down quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Armvankin, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Armvankin, it will try to impress you with trees.

Armvankin's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Armvankin's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat sheep with great respect.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never feed tomatoes to eagles while wearing hats.