Canbigvan is a god.

He takes the form of a large, stupid goat.

Canbigvan created the Milkyway nine million years ago.

If you believe in Canbigvan, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Canbigvan, he will turn you into a duck.

Canbigvan's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Canbigvan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never wear corsets.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Hide from magenta otters for they are unholy.