Jamcar Flamnelham is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, happy camel.

Jamcar Flamnelham created a down quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Jamcar Flamnelham, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Jamcar Flamnelham, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Jamcar Flamnelham's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Jamcar Flamnelham's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Jamcar Flamnelham on top of all buildings.

2. Never look at dwarf planets.

3. Do not wear mauve clothing.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not make images of living things.