Miskomhat is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, annoying crab.

Miskomhat created matter two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Miskomhat, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Miskomhat, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Miskomhat's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Miskomhat's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Always help sick dolphins.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.