Dossmobfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, merciful pigeon.

Dossmobfarn created the planet Jupiter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dossmobfarn, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Dossmobfarn, she will turn you into a goat.

Dossmobfarn's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Dossmobfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine goats approach from the north.

2. Never eat peanuts.

3. Hide from blue otters for they are unholy.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Learn seven new languages a year.