Gidmiphoglam is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, staggering scorpion.

Gidmiphoglam created bats two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gidmiphoglam, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gidmiphoglam, it will be mildly annoyed.

Gidmiphoglam's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Gidmiphoglam's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter near doves while wearing blue kilts and balancing six silver spheres on your feet.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. You must love Gidmiphoglam.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never feed lots of cucumbers to great tits while wearing purple shoes.