Fembabjarnyarp Kancissjin is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, deceitful squid.

Fembabjarnyarp Kancissjin created Mount Everest three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fembabjarnyarp Kancissjin, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fembabjarnyarp Kancissjin, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Fembabjarnyarp Kancissjin's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Fembabjarnyarp Kancissjin's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always pray immersed in water.