Dotvilstan is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, humorless snake.

Dotvilstan created viruses three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dotvilstan, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dotvilstan, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Dotvilstan's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Dotvilstan's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat whales with great respect.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Never think ill of sick frogs.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. You must love Dotvilstan.