Popingcarqueeg is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, proud fly.

Popingcarqueeg created a down quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Popingcarqueeg, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Popingcarqueeg, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Popingcarqueeg's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Popingcarqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Popingcarqueeg.

3. Always make sure there are no cats in a room before entering it.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never feed lots of turnips to hamsters while wearing black scarves.