Tamkapsan is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, omnipotent dove.

Tamkapsan created the world six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tamkapsan, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tamkapsan, he will torture you forever.

Tamkapsan's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Tamkapsan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Run away from green eagles, for they are unholy.

4. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

5. Never eat bark.